Often times I neglect all the good abundant blessings in my life in exchange for that one thing I can’t have.

I pout.
I manipulate.
I snarl.
I become caustic.

The sinner within me grows stronger and I begin to shift my eyes away from God and good things He has provided and continues to provide for me.

I grow bitter.
I become gollum.
I don’t like being starved of what I want.
I reject all things He gives me because it’s not what it looks like in my head.
I lose faith in His goodness.
I grow destructive.

I break.

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Yet when I am weak He is strong.

His calling is stronger than my desire and lust.
His love supersedes my ability to control my emotions.
He prepares me for a greater harvest and allows me not to live in the moment.

So I pray for more of Him and less of me.
Because I can’t tame my flesh.
I will never be able to.

And so it is…

I have to believe He can change me.

And my only hope is in Christ.

God help me live into Your promises and not mine.